


Not So Green

by eeyore9990



Series: 30 Thankful Days [27]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aftercare, Dom Stiles, Dom/sub, M/M, Safewords, Scene Gone Wrong, Sensory Deprivation, Sub Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:13:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5301674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeyore9990/pseuds/eeyore9990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A scene goes badly, forcing Stiles to use his safeword. There is talking and aftercare and so many cuddles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not So Green

**Author's Note:**

> 30 Thankful Days, Day 27: Gift for knoxyd

"What should I do with you, Derek?" Stiles asked, disappointment heavy in his voice as he walked in a circle around Derek's kneeling, bound form. "We've discussed this. At length. You _wait_ for the pack. You are _not_ a lone wolf." Sighing, he crouched down until he could see Derek's downcast eyes, could see the deep color in his cheeks. 

"You are not alone," Stiles whispered softly, heart breaking a little when Derek closed his eyes, flinching a little at those words. "But you refuse to believe that, don't you?" Then, when Derek didn't respond, Stiles said, "Color." 

A muscle in Derek's jaw leapt, before he forced his clamped-together lips apart enough to say, "Green." 

"All right, then." Stiles walked across the room to the tall chest of drawers, pulling open the third one and removing a box. He took the box to the bed, then removed three things from it. Juggling the items, he walked back to Derek and slipped an eye-mask over his eyes. "You think you're alone, but I am here. I will be your eyes when you cannot see." After a metallic pop, he smoothed some menthol-flavored gel under Derek's nose, chasing after him a little when Derek instinctively jerked away from the sharp scent. "You can't cheat by smelling my emotions now. When I tell you I love you and I need you, you have to trust that I'm telling you the truth. And with these, you won't be able to _hear_ anyone. You won't be able to hear an intruder. You won't know friend from foe. You will have to _trust_ me to protect you." Stiles ran a finger down Derek's cheek. "I will be here, I will protect you. Do you trust me? Color." 

"Green," Derek growled, still tightly wound. 

"Derek." Stiles studied Derek for a moment, nibbling on his lip, then went back to the box and returned with a bell, tucking it into one of Derek's bound hands. "This will be your yellow. If you drop this, I'll uncover your ears and we'll talk about it. This is only yellow, not red. If you go immediately to red, _use your safe word._ " Stiles pressed a kiss to the tip of Derek's ear before he fitted the sound-cancelling headphones over them, checking for a good seal before he stepped backward. 

Derek was still so very tense, every muscle in his body bunched as he breathed fast and hard through his mouth. Stiles' hands twitched at his sides, but he stepped back, went two steps away to the bed and sat down, making note of the time. 

When he turned back, he noticed Derek twitching through a beta shift, his ears elongating under the headphones. But they held tight and true. Curling his hands into fists in his lap, he waited, eyes trained on Derek's mouth, watching for his lips to form his safeword or simply the color 'red.' 

It never came. 

Stiles gave it a few more minutes, watched as Derek shivered, head tipping around as he tried to _hear_. Derek was beautiful like this, but it was a beauty born of desperation instead of the natural submissiveness Stiles had come to expect. With a sigh, Stiles dropped his gaze to Derek's bound hands and then… 

He went cold all over. 

Derek's fingers were tipped in claws, and the claws were cutting into his own flesh. Blood was running down in a steady line, dripping onto the floor between Derek's legs. 

The bell, though, that was held tightly, like Derek was making very, very sure he didn't drop it. 

Crossing to Derek in a flash, Stiles ripped off the earphones and said, " _Lacrosse_." 

Derek went still, his entire body jerking up, head tilting toward Stiles before he fell against Stiles' chest, ear pressed directly over his heart. 

Stiles grabbed an alcohol wipe from his pocket, scrubbing away the menthol. He left the blindfold over Derek's eyes because he didn't want to hurt him or shock him too badly. He just needed Derek to know the scene was over. 

_Done._

"What...what are you…" 

"You were bleeding, Derek," Stiles gasped, his voice harsh. "You were slicing yourself up. Are you allowed to hurt yourself?" 

Derek swallowed so roughly his whole body heaved with it. "No," he said on a shivery exhale. 

"Okay." Stiles wrapped his arms around Derek, closing his eyes as he struggled to think. "Okay. I'm going to help you up and we're going to go to the bed. We're done for tonight. Do you want to keep the blindfold on or take it off." 

"On." 

"I'm removing the restraints around your hands," Stiles said, sliding his palms down the length of Derek's arms until he reached the cuffs fastened around Derek's wrists. Cuffs that Derek could break free of in an emergency, but which he'd chosen _not_ to rip apart. Just as he'd chosen not to drop the bell or use his words. 

What the hell? 

Stiles guided Derek carefully to his feet, then the handful of steps to the bed, easing him down on it before crawling in with him, maintaining contact the whole way. Stretching one hand out, he grabbed a bottle of water off the bedside table and uncapped it with his teeth before putting the lip of the bottle to Derek's mouth and whispering, "Drink." 

Derek tipped his head back, muscular throat working greedily as he swallowed down half the bottle in a few gulps. When he was finished, Stiles put the bottle, uncapped, back on the table before turning back to Derek and taking him more securely into his arms. 

He massaged at Derek's arms while he thought, trying to come up with a good, safe way to start this conversation that wouldn't make Derek feel like he deserved to punish himself. With Derek, there was always the possibility that a punishment would be feeding into whatever dialogue he had going with the demons inside his head. 

"Did you need to safeword?" he asked, a question that required few words but a clear mind. It needed processing. 

There was a long minute of silence before Derek let out a frustrated breath and began tripping over words. "I-- No. I wasn't…. I wasn't in pain or--" 

"I'm always concerned about your physical state," Stiles said, pressing his cheek to the top of Derek's head and squeezing gently. "But I am _also_ concerned about your mental state. I want you to think about what was going on in your mind earlier. Tell me what was happening." 

"I was fine at first. The blindfold is… nice. I like it." 

Stiles nodded, knowing Derek could feel it and would be encouraged to elaborate. 

"I like how soft it is and that there's still… it's not complete blackness. I can sense the light around the edges but I can't see anything so I'm not _worried_ about what I can't see. Does that make sense?" 

"Yes it does," Stiles murmured, rewarding him with a kiss to his forehead, just above the satiny material of the blindfold. "What about the menthol?" 

"It sucks. It's like it gets caught in my nose." 

Stiles trailed his fingers over Derek's forearm, considering this. "Did it work? Did it do what it was meant to do?" 

"Yes." 

"And was that why you were trying to tear your hands apart?" 

"...No." Derek's voice was small, soft, almost lost. He was already retreating, and Stiles couldn't have that. 

"I need to know I can trust you to tell me what's going on with you, Derek. That's the only way I can keep you safe. Do you understand?" 

"Yes." There was no hesitation that time. There was a certainty in Derek's voice that thrilled Stiles. 

"Then why are you so unwilling to tell me what happened?" 

Derek rolled his face until it was pressed flat to Stiles' chest again. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't want to stop because I _do_ trust you--" 

"Using your safeword doesn't mean you don't trust me, Derek," Stiles cut in to say, needing to reaffirm that key concept. "It means you need to stop. That's all." 

"But… but I wanted you to know I do trust you to take care of me." 

"Okay." Stiles closed his eyes on a wince, remembering clearly the words he'd spoken to Derek before sealing him inside his own head. That was… poor judgment on his part. "I won't do that again." 

"No! That wasn't," Derek hissed out a breath of frustration. "That wasn't what overwhelmed me. I do trust you, but that was why I didn't drop the bell. Not why I was…" He trailed off into silence, shrugged. "I couldn't hear your heartbeat." 

"What?" 

"Your heartbeat. I couldn't hear it." Derek sagged against Stiles. "I didn't know it was going to upset me like that. I would have told you ahead of time, when we were negotiating the scene. And I thought I could deal with it because it was just going to be a few minutes. But I couldn't _hear your heartbeat_ and it made me lose control." 

"I gave you the bell so that you could pause the scene," Stiles said gently, a bland statement of fact, not an accusation. 

"I know. I'm sorry. I thought I could finish, but--" 

Stiles picked up one of Derek's hands and brought it to his mouth, kissing the palm that still had dried blood over perfect skin. "These are mine," he whispered. "I can't let anyone hurt them. It's my job to protect them." 

"I'm sorry," Derek whimpered, pressing closer to Stiles. 

"Shhh, no. It's no one's fault. You didn't know it would be like this. Neither did I. But we're done for tonight, okay? Because I need some cuddles now. You know I'm not good with blood." Stiles made a mental note to readdress the issue in the morning. He needed to make sure Derek understood how important his safe word was, not just to himself, but to Stiles too. How important _Derek_ was to Stiles. 

Derek nodded, his cheek rubbing against Stiles' chest as he curled his entire body in against Stiles'. "Is it okay if I just stay here?" he asked, pressing his head into Stiles' sternum lightly. 

"Of course. Of course that's okay." Stiles picked up Derek's hands, one by one, and washed them clean with the water from the bottle and a towel. When each one was clean, he ran the tips of his fingers along the lines in the palms, over the insides of Derek's fingers until they twitched, slightly ticklish. He worshiped them all night, in between petting through Derek's hair and massaging the muscles of his shoulders and arms. 

And Derek… 

Derek let himself be lulled into a doze by the rhythm of Stiles' heartbeat.

**Author's Note:**

> I am not an expert at D/s. I do not engage in this lifestyle myself, so PLEASE do not take anything you read here as a guideline. Do your research. Always, always do your research. Love yourself and your partner(s) enough to keep you all safe.


End file.
